After the Break Up
by alittlegleefrog
Summary: After is trip to New York, Blaine is back home, but it doesn't really feel like it anymore, not with what happened. He realises that he is all alone now. Suicide notes


First I didn"t watch the Break Up episode, i just can't, because i know i'm gonna cry more than a river, so i decide to stop watching Glee until they are back togother and then i'll watch every episode in a row. I still follow the show on Tumblr,as a fan i can't just stop following, but not actually watching. I'm on Glee strike.

I hope you'll enjoy.

Blaine was back to Westerville, lost in his own mind, asking himself how he could have done this to Kurt, the love of his life, or even to himself.

He felt so disgusted at the reflexion he sees in the mirror, he had no answer to what happened, he loved, still loves and will always love Kurt, because his the only one that make him feel loved in a long time, that he punched the piece of glass in front of him with all the strength he got.

Kurt was the only one to get to him, to understand him, and he cheated, he got weak, him Blaine "Warbler" Anderson, who made a crisis six months ago over some texting, had cheated.

He never felt anything about the guy, he was just lonely and facebook happened, they agreed on a date, he thought _"an other gay guy that is no Sebastian in all Ohio I gotta meet him» _The night end up at Scandals over alcohol, the loneliness didn't help and he lost it.

All of this though made him feel so bad, his talk with Kurt's brother Finn later, didn't help either, he couldn't even look at himself anymore, he went to Dalton Academy to see friendly faces, and he didn't even find comfort with Nick or Thad who were his best friends, they tried everything to cheer him up, but it didn't really work.

For the outside world he put on a brave face, make his famous smile, and act, that was something he knew he could do, but in the inside he knew he was all alone, he was ignore by his parents, the discomfort of his friends, who were also Kurt's when he was at school.

The weeks went by, and Blaine the 'A+' student saw his grades falling, he stopped attending some classes, even with glee practice, who was the only thing that gave him a little comfort, he started to skip some of them.

Kurt hadn't talk to him since that night in New York when he got the honesty to tell him what had happened and not let him find out by himself.

Mr SHUE saw that Blaine was going through depression, an tried to talk to him in the choir room of McKinley High _"Blaine you should see Emma, maybe she can help you with what you're going through", _all he answered was _" I wanna go back to the start, Dalton is where I belong, and where my friends are "_ He felt like the other in glee were on Kurt side, but really it was just his own mind triggering him.

The entire glee club start to really worry about Blaine, because off course they knew Kurt more longer, he was there friend too, when he attempted practice without his hair gelled, his bow tie, his dapper style actually. He was in his sweat pants, and didn't even care .When Mr Shue told them that Blaine thought of going back to Dalton, so they got all together and started to think about a way to make him feel better.

Two days later, Finn went to see Blaine in the lockers room, to talk men to men, and not has Kurt's big brother, they talked for a while, Finn gave him news about Kurt since he didn't pick up the phone anymore, he was going to come home with Rachel for Thanksgiving in a week, and maybe they could try to talk. Blaine thanked Finn for the info, and for being here since is Kurt's brother.

One week later, Finn, Rachel, Kurt and Blaine, were at the Lima Bean, but Finn and Rachel let the broken couple together, in an attempt of reconciliation, at least to a conversation, Rachel told Finn how was Kurt since the 'Teenage Dream' drama, and he wasn't good, he got news, by Artie, Sam, Tina and his others glee club friends, he felt bad for not answering the phone, even with what happened, one part of him hated him and the other still loved him.

He thought he could forgive him, because he still loved him so much, he was everything to him, but the pain, the hurt he felt that night was too present even two month after, what Blaine have done was so , he didn't had a word for it. He was his first love, the only one he will ever love, he was the One.

Kurt focused again, he wanted to say something, tell him to get over, that maybe one day when the pain is less palpable they could try to be friends again, but nothing could get out off his mouth, all he could see was the desperation, and the broken face in front of him.

Five minutes later, they still hadn't exchange a word, it was too hard on both of them, but for Blaine, to see Kurt this hurt, to be himself this hurt because of what he did, he couldn't take it anymore, so with tears in his eyes, he grabbed Kurt's hand, they looked at each other and Blaine said with a broken voice how much sorry he was again, and left the Lima Bean, leaving his coffee on the table. When Kurt took it for the garbage can, he saw written in a sharp heart 'Always and Forever' .

The night of Thanksgiving was up, and Kurt was in is room, thinking of Blaine, and he remembered that, his parents were never in Westerville for Thanksgiving, and he started to really felt bad for him, thinking he was definitely all alone.

Kurt got called by Carole to help him, and left his bedroom, when his phone starts to vibrate; one missing call from Blaine.

3 hours later:

The home phone rang, Burt picked it up, _"yes ma'am, ….of course we do,…."_ Kurt, Finn and Carole, saw the bad news face on Burt, something was wrong and they all knew it. They've only heard fifty percent of the conversation, but it was definitely not good. When Burt hang up, they all at the same time said _"What's going on?"_

- Kurt, it's humm , it's Blaine, he's at St Patrick Hospital, he got in a car accident and it seems pretty bad"

His father's words sounded like a bomb in his ears, Blaine, His Blaine was hurt, even with what happened he cared for him.

_- No dad, Blaine wouldn't have a car accident, he drives like a grandpa, never over the limits, it's not him" _

Tears starting to fall over his cheeks _"and why the hospital called us?"_

- _You didn't answered your cell phone, and the house number, was one of the number the most used on his, I know what you two are going through, but apparently his family's not here, so I'm going, do you wanna come ?_

_- Off course, let me take my coat._

The drive to the hospital was quiet, Kurt looked at the window the all time, tears falling thinking of the pain Blaine must be in.

Twenty minutes after they checked in, a doctor came into the waiting room, asking for Blaine Anderson, the four of them got up.

The doctor takes them in a lobby, for some privacy:

_- I'm Blaine's doctor, we tried to contact he's parents, but apparently they are out of town for at least 3 weeks, We got on the phone with his mother, she told us to call you since you were together and she's going to send us the legal paperwork we need for you._

_- What ! _- said Burt _- their son is in the hospital and they're not flying home and what paper do we need ? _

_- Apparently no sir, and I'm sorry for the Kid, but with his condition right now, we can't tell but if he's not getting better in the next few days, you'll have to take some decisions_.- looking at Kurt_ -_

All the faces decomposed, they couldn't do that, take the responsibility, make the call

_- What is his actual condition?_

_- Blaine's condition is for now stable but he has severe brain damage and his on life support right now due to his head trauma, it could change at any moment and became critical again, with the brain we never know the reaction on treatment, that's what worries me the most, because the broken ribs, left arm and leg can heal, and he got some bruises all over his body from the shock and cuts from shattered glass. It looks like he lost control of his car, and end up crashing ina car that was park aside the road, but the first exam showed that he was drunk and his not 21 – _He paused, he looked at everybody before asking -_ . Do you wanna see him; you don't have to, if you don't feel it._

_- No it's ok, I want to see him._ – The rest of the Hudmel nod.

The moment, Kurt entered the room, his world stopped, he was there not moving, all bruised, he was on life support, got IV's for pain.

It was too much to bare for him, he got out off the room, and off the hospital, he needed space, air to breathe, to calmed down. He tried to get the image of Blaine lying there out of his mind.

Then he slapped himself, he had to focused, he was still the love of his life, even with what they were going through, and the doctor told him he had to make some decisions, and he knew he will need help, so he looked into his pocket, searching for his phone, then he realized it was at home, and he had to call the New Directions and the Warblers to let them know about Blaine's condition. And what could happened in a few days, and his heart rate was through the roof, thinking too fast, he needed to calm down

Burt arrived five minutes later, he knew Kurt needed some alone time. Kurt talk with his father for a few minutes and they hugged each other, this was thanksgiving, a day we are supposed to be thankful for being with the people we love, or for multiple reason actually , and they were on St Patrick's parking lot. Burt got to see Finn telling him he had to go home for Kurt's phone.

Finn got back an hour later with Kurt's phone, he took it and thanked his big brother for the help, when he opened it he saw 13 missed call from Blaine, and 5 from a private one, who he thought was the hospital trying to get to him. But more than the missed call, there was 6 messages.

He walk out of the lobby, and sat on a bench outside, and listened his voice mail, the five first were actually Nancy a nurse from the hospital asking him to call her back, because she needed to talk to him about Blaine Anderson.

Then arrived the six's message, and it was Blaine broken voice:

_"Hey Kurt, it's me, Blaine, you do know it's me but humm, there is a few things I need to tell you, and you know today his thanksgiving, and I need you to know that I will always be thankful for the day you stopped me in the Dalton Staircase, that day changed my entire life, and I know I'm the one who gave you your freedom, because it was killing me to see you so sad and hearing from Rachel that New York was amazing, and I'm so so sorry for what I've done to us, because I really didn't want to but you were away you weren't answering my calls and I felt so lonely, it's my mistake, and I wish you could one day forgive me for that but the truth is I don't want you to _– his voice cracked more_ – because I can't even forgive myself, and I will never forgive myself for it because I ruined the most beautiful and important thing that I got in my life, and it was you, and I ruined my own life I'm so angry at me right now, because I got weak and that's not someth – _Blaine stopped for a few seconds and kurt could tell he was crying_ - , but Kurt the thing is, I loved you, I still love you, and I will always love you, you were the One for me, I know that right know we are nothing, we're not even friends anymore, but I hope you'll find someone better than me, that will make you happier than what I made you.- _and another pause Kurt could hear deep breath_ - It's too much for me to see you this hurt because of my bad action ,last year I couldn't stand being away from the person I love, and today I can't stand being the One who broke that person heart . Kurt –_there was a long sight_ - you remember after you went back to McKinley, you said to me that you were never going to say goodbye to me, and you were right, you won't have to because I'm the one saying goodbye, I truly hope and wish you'll found love again. I will always be there somewhere to watch you grow, and become someone. I will always love you_"

And with those three last words, Kurt understood, what just happened, Blaine didn't just had a car accident, he tried to kill himself, he just said goodbye, he got up and ran to his room, but when he arrived on the fourth floor, he saw a nurse screaming "Code Blue" and it was Blaine's room.


End file.
